i’ve heard somewhere that the top three things couples argue about are money, sex, and work. what is the main thing that j and i seem to argue about?
some back story. j has always been a very picky eater. he hates vegetables. his sister hates vegetables. his dad hates vegetables. and even though his mom likes vegetables, she never made the rest of them eat any.
when i met him, the only things he ate were:
pizza. spaghetti. ham & cheese sandwiches (white bread and american cheese of course). burritos. hamburgers. hotdogs.
i am not kidding – that is ALL he ate. of course, him and his family are blessed with good genes and they are all crazy tall, a healthy weight, and appear healthy. so because he looked fine, he didn’t think there was anything wrong with his diet.
when we moved in together, a typical night would go like this: i would make a balanced meal for dinner. he would take one look, wrinkle his nose, and cook a burger on the grill. or eat a frozen pizza. because his schedule was so weird, he was only home 3 nights a week, so it wasn’t a huge problem for me, although it was very annoying.
recently, he has been home every night and i have taken on the responsibility of making dinner. i was pretty lazy for awhile and we had a lot of pizza, which resulted in me gaining 20 pounds. i realized that i couldn’t keep going like that and i needed to start eating healthy again. then we went on the 17 day diet, and although he hated it, jared was able to eat the vegetables. he kept commenting about how great he felt and how he wants to incorporate healthy eating into our lives. i was thrilled!
well, the strict part of the 17 day diet is over and j has completely reverted back to his old eating habits!! sausage and pepperoni pizza with ranch dressing. spaghetti with plain meat sauce. he has made a *few* changes – wheat bread, eating more yogurt, cut back on coffee – but the veggies have basically vanished from his diet.
last night we got into a fight because i made lasagna for dinner. i used ground turkey and whole wheat noodles, which he was ok with. but then i also chopped up some zucchini, mushrooms, and red peppers to put into the sauce. you would have thought i was trying to poison him by the reaction i got.
he can’t understand why i would “ruin a perfectly good dish by adding vegetables”, and i can’t understand why he wouldn’t want the veggies to be “hidden” in the meal, since they add more flavor and texture to the dish.
i can’t get through to him that we need to add as many veggies to things as possible, in order to get more fiber and nutrients. I would rather have them in my main dishes instead of having to eat 5 bowls of salad a day.
it seems like if i want to compromise i have to either
a) let him make his own dinner – which he doesn’t have time to do because of his school/work schedule and which will result in him having pizza or fast food every night
b) make him something different – which i just refuse to do on principal
c) make what he likes and try to eat more salad
none of these seem like a viable option to me. is it wrong to think that if you are the one making the meals for the family, then the other person should be happy you’re cooking and eat what they’re served? or do i just not understand what it’s like to be a picky eater?
i’m so sick of this being a battle every night. it’s making me feel like he’s a child, which is NOT good for the marriage.
how does mealtime work in your house?