tonight is j’s first night back in class after the christmas break. i’m excited and guilty about being excited at the same time.
it’s not that i like him being gone every evening, i just really like having my alone time, which i have been getting less and less of since j quit his job. now that we’re both home all day (and all night when he doesn’t have class), it’s a little much. i think some apart time is good for the marriage. i need a chance to miss him.
right now he’s at a job interview. finally. this is a little sore spot for me as well because he quit his job in september, was supposed to take ONE month off and then start looking for something part time while he was in school. that one month turned into four months. FOUR MONTHS of one income = super stressful. as most of you know, i do not handle having an unemployed partner well – mostly because my ex was on and off of work for years. it scares me. j isn’t lazy or entitled like my ex, but it still worries me that this will become a pattern.
j is a hard worker, but he is also a procrastinator. which means that i have to
nag encourage him to search for a job. which only makes me irritated, especially when i’m also nagging encouraging him to finish up the projects around the house.
i just hate feeling like i have to do everything – make the money, pay the bills, manage the household, plan our social life.. and be the taskmaster for everything. it gets tiring. i know that he will help me if i ask him to, but sometimes that creates even more work because i have to figure out what i can have him do and then ask him to do it. it is so much nicer when he realizes something needs to be done and just does it.* and no women ever wants to feel like she’s an
i know this isn’t something unique to our marriage. how do the rest of you balance the work load?
*like when he makes the bed, does the dishes, cleans the litter box, takes out the trash, all of which he is getting good at doing without asking, but there was still a time when i HAD to ask…