j was talking about his ex last night. i usually have the mindset that ex’s are ex’s for a reason, and so i don’t get bent out of shape when a current boyfriend talks about them. but something last night hit a nerve. maybe because we’re getting so serious.. maybe because it’s that time of the month. i have no idea.. but i was bothered because it bothered me.
this prompted me to reflect on past relationships. thinking about good times we had. wondering what they’re doing in their life. do they ever wonder about me? what memories do they have?
i googled the only two significant ones to see if i could gleam any information about their lives. the one from college. my first. now married. living in boulder with his wife and 2 dogs. a perpetual graduate student. no information found on the second one. probably a good thing, but maddening to me.
i know that i wouldn’t have been happy with either one of them. i should assume that j feels the same way about his and let that little reality check silence the insecurity.